On reading a Book

 

I seem to know right away if I like the author.   Not just what they say but how they say it.  I can tell if they have a sense of humor or are just faking it.  Do they have something to say, or are they just filling pages to sell another book?

I remember reading a book one time at an airport.  I was laughing so hard I couldn’t read anymore.  I slipped my bookmark in, closed it up but continued to giggle throughout the trip.

I like art.  I like paintings on canvas, but they’ve never made me laugh or even giggle.  A blend of the right subject matter and the perfect colors can draw me into a canvas and actually hold my attention so long that the security guard will have to nudge me and let me know they will be closing shortly.

Sometimes it takes a second nudge, but that would have to be a nude or card playing dogs.  Maybe nudes playing cards, but I’ve never seen that one.

I like the adventure of reading a book.  The author has already done all the twists and turns, now it’s up to the reader to keep it between the ditches, to follow along, as if being towed.  Don’t skip ahead, don’t daydream or text and read at the same time.

Are there rocks ahead?

What annoys me the most are the authors that feel they need to use chrome-plated words.  I am not a highfalutin person.  I like simple.  I believe an author should write just good enough to get a passing grade.  If extra credit is offered, trade it for a sandwich, or Snickers bar.  You don’t need to use big words, not when a modicum of insignificant and superfluous non-verbal expressions will suffice.

Know your audience  

I believe that before writing any book, you should go out and introduce yourself to everyone who might possibly buy it.  Travel to various states, hand out business cards, try to remember everyone’s birthday and their kid’s names.  You’ll thank me later.

  

Moron this later.